For the Good
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FOR THE GOOD
Man… I don’t know how I can go from saying, “I am particularly fond of this song” with NOT NO MORE, then immediately move onto FOR THE GOOD. I mean… these songs wrecked my world in the most amazing way when it comes to my relationship with God and diving back into the world of songwriting.
Story Behind the Song
After my therapist at the Anxiety Centre strongly encouraged me to write, it didn’t take long for me to feel a connection to craft again. I know in my heart, whether it’s songs, blogs, sermons, or maybe someday books… writing is a major part of my calling in life; it’s what God created me to do. I find passion in writing that most people find in sports. I get excited about researching and mocking up plans, unlike most people.
When I took 2.5 years off of writing, I spiraled. I refused to write or research anything unless it was required for work (see last blog to understand why). During and after writing Not No More, I felt a hunger for writing and community unlike I’ve ever felt before. The feeling was so deep, it was as if God was telling me, “I’m calling you to go down this path. This path leads to healing for you and others. If you choose to avoid this path, you are choosing to stay in pain and darkness.”
So I had a choice. Rejection of God and His plans for my life that leads to depression, or submission. I chose to submit and dive deeper, not only in my craft but in my relationship with Christ.
Almost immediately, I started getting ads on all my social media platforms for different songwriting programs, camps, schools, etc. To this day, it blows my mind. I get that our devices are always listening… but this was next-level bizarre for me.
(Insert The Songwriter’s Advocate — TSA)
TSA was one of the ads that came up on Facebook, but it was also all over multiple worship leader groups I was a part of… so I was intrigued, applied, and got accepted. TSA was an online school for songwriters and worship leaders, created by Matt Stinton. The school taught and gave insight into the songwriting process, how to evaluate your songs and more. The school was set up more like a college intensive; it was a 6-week class, a one-week 2-hour lecture with class feedback/interaction, and then a songwriting assignment. Based on what you paid for, you could have additional meetings during the week with Matt or his co-leaders to evaluate your songs.
Unfortunately, TSA is not around today… but I would have recommended every worship leader and songwriter to attend this school if they were wanting to grow in their songwriting abilities. The Songwriter’s Advocate changed my life… now, mind you, I have a degree in artistry and songwriting… but I took a few years off. So when I entered TSA, I not only had songwriter’s block, but I was also nervous and ready to throw in the towel at any moment. I was still recovering from my anger with God, depression, and anxiety. Matt and his team at TSA helped me rediscover my heart and calling within songwriting. Healing took place for me at this school.
I am so incredibly grateful for Matt Stinton and his team at The Songwriter’s Advocate! I hope and wish this online school returns someday… But I am excited to see where everyone on the leadership team is at today.
THE ASSIGNMENT
So if you didn’t guess it already… For the Good is a song that came out of a TSA assignment. An odd one at that! For the assignment, we were given multiple obscure phrases… we had to choose one (or all) and write a song with it. The phrase I chose was “Lord willing and the creek don't rise.”
To say this assignment irritated me would be an understatement. I attempted writing 4-5 different verses and courses with the phrase before I finally broke down crying because nothing worked… I stopped and just prayed. I remember this moment vividly. “God, why did you bring me to this moment? Why am I doing this? I was given lyrics and I can’t even write with them. I’m not a writer anymore, can you just accept that?”
I remember peace coming over my anxious body… a stillness; as if God was saying, “It’s about time you came to me. You’re stubborn you know? Try again, but with me this time.”
The first lyrics out of my mouth were:
“Maybe it’s okay that I’m not okay, You’re still God and You’re good.”
That ended up being the main focus of the chorus. And I love it. It’s a message people need to hear.
I also love the verses… verse one going like this:
“You know I don’t wanna be here
when the darkness sets in
and my mind grows weary
My spirit it goes anxious
Crazy, chaos, hazy, Lord
I don’t wanna let the doubt creep in
Where I question Your will and plans for me
So if Your willing and the creek don’t rise
You’ll take this cup from me”
For the Good has become one of my most treasured songs. Is it perfect no — no song ever is, not even the songs that are already released and playing on the radio! Just ask any artist, they listen back and hear things they wish they did differently before releasing.
BUT - For the Good was part of the foundation of re-entering the music world. For The Good is another example of how my season changed my music style. For the Good the perfect example of how I view the trials of this life now…
Biblical Roots
Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
My Thoughts
As I wrap up this blog I am SO excited for you to hear the FINAL version of For the God! BUT I have one question for you… do you struggle with depression? I want you to know you are not alone. Know this:
Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
I will NEVER be someone who demeans your struggles are what you are going/have been through — that has happened to me and it hurt immensely. But I want to lovingly say this, depression is rooted in rejection. Depression sinks its roots deep when you reject the truth, peace, light, love, and most importantly… God. Depression is very much so a real thing, but it is a result of not paying attention to your actions. Anxiety comes before depression and it is your body's way of telling you something is out of whack, out of focus, out of order.
So here is my challenge for you, as someone who was once diagnosed (and identified) with chronic depression and anxiety… get your eyes OFF the darkness and self-help and back onto God and His kingdom God. He will show up, He will speak, He will move, He will heal, and He will do more than you could ever imagine… but you have to be willing to surrender.
Hope and Prayer for the Song
I know there are so many people struggling… financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually… this side of heaven is NOT easy, I won’t lie and say it is.
I heard a quote recently that said, “This is either the closest to heaven you will ever get or the closest to hell you will ever get. But what comes next doesn't compare to here either way…”
My hope and prayer for this song is that people will STOP cherry-coating their lives and the gospel, pretending like they need to be perfect before God and the church. It is OKAY to NOT be OKAY. Let me repeat that. It is OKAY to NOT be OKAY. It’s OKAY to have a THERAPIST and JESUS too! I HIGHLY recommend https://www.anxietycentre.com if you need counseling! It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s NOT okay to stay there. Part of having a great testimony is actively taking the next steps in the faith journey. Stepping out of the boat and trusting Jesus.
Will you trust Jesus today?